Things I'll Miss

Dear Chris,
It's a gorgeous Spring day outside and I wanted to take you out on a long walk so badly. Last week a friend of mine wrote about all the things she'll miss when her toddler is older. Today I'm really missing being able to take you on a walk. But at least I know that in another month I'll be able to do that again, and/or take you to the zoo. I love talking with you on those walks.
We will be able to take walks or go to the zoo for a while, but there are some things though about the age that you are, that I will really miss when you get older, so I thought I might jot them down tonight too.

First, whenever you wake up, for the first 15 minutes or so, all you want to do is sit and cuddle in my lap. We've always done that. Of course, it started because you'd wake up and I would nurse you, then once we did away with nursing, then it became snuggle time with a drink: some milk or whatever beverage you were taking. Now we give you your Bright Beginnings Soy spiked with chocolate syrup and we call it Cocoa. And we Snuggle. I love our snuggles. Some days last you sit in my lap and go for 20 minutes, finishing your entire beverage, and maybe snuggling some more. Though it's getting hard now because there's not much lap right with Baby Brother coming. Sometimes you only snuggle for a minute then you're off to Play Toys. On those days, I realize that our wake up snuggle breaks may not be lasting much longer. I will be very sad when we don't snuggle as much any more. Sometimes I worry the baby will be in my lap when you wake, and there still won't be room to snuggle. Then will come a day, when Snuggling Mommy is the LAST thing you want to do. I don't want to think about that day.

Since I've been so tired lately, I'll lay down on the couch. Sometimes you will sidle up next to me, though with my growing belly, there's room for your head and shoulders but not much for your legs now, but that doesn't stop you. You cuddle. Sometimes you demand a "bain-tit" (blanket) and then cuddle a bit more, and then you're off. We used to take naps together, but the last few times haven't worked out, you are a boy likes to Go GO GO! I love those moments.
Sometimes you play toys on me. You like to bring your toys to me, sometimes they'll fly around my head. I love the sound you make when they fly by my head, "Shoo Shoo Shoo" as they zip by. That sound, that Shoo, it's calming to me.

I love watching your Imagination Develop. It only seems like within the last couple months, that you are content to go play with your toys by yourself. You'll come out mixing and matching your toys, maybe Spiderman shoots dinosaurs, or the dragon attacks the Little People Policeman or Squeeze from Handy Manny goes around rescuing whoever needs a good pinching to pick him up and fly him through the air, tonight it was your Stuffed Red Cardinal that needed to fly and squeeze helped. It's so neat for me to sit and watch you play. It used to be you'd hand me a toy, and just watch me play with them. You ask for me to play toys with you, and it's nice that you're at an age, where if I say something, you'll respond, or get creative yourself.

This evening, as I type, Daddy is getting you ready for bath. I love that after you get all naked, you run into the bathroom, enthusiastically ready to brush your teeth. As soon as that is done, you dash back out and stand at the door of your bedroom, waiting. Daddy comes and grabs your arms, and swings you around by your little naked chicken wings. You always laugh your best laugh. Sometimes if I'm upstairs when he does it, he'll swing your naked self into just peeping into my line of sight. A Peek of Naked Boy. Oh how you laugh. I live to hear that laugh. I love your laugh. It is physically impossible for me to do anything else but smile when you laugh. Then Daddy swings and strolls you off into the bathtub, where you come in for a landing. I love it. You love bathtime, you play and laugh, you and Daddy, and you sing, and I love listening to it. Sometimes I'll work on other things: play on the computer, but I have the monitor close by so I can hear.

Speaking of singing, today you started singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Actually you came up and gave me your star, a kid's meal toy from last year, and told me "What you are" and when I started to sing Twinkle Twinkle, and you joined in. Later this afternoon, you sang the whole thing, but I think your favorite line is What you Are, because you kept repeating that one. I love your slight imperfections in the song. In any song really. Last week, you and I practiced Row Row Row your Boat. I'll be sad, when these songs are old hat, and you know all the words without thinking, or worse, when you don't want to sing them or do hand motions for them with me.

There are so many things that can drive me crazy about this age, when you're wild and stuff, but there is so much to love too, and so much to miss.
I love you.