I don't fit where? I ask. At this point, I'm 39 1/2 weeks pregnant, there are very few places I do Fit.
"Under the payo." (piano)
No, I laughed, I do not fit under the piano. Maybe under a Baby Grand, but not our little upright.
Now this isn't the first time, he's been worried about me 'fitting'. Two weeks ago, I was taking him for a haircut, and we were pulling into the parking lot. I pulled in, put the car in park. Chris calls out from the back seat, "You fit?" I was like, yes, car is fine right here. Then I opened the door, but in my ever-conscious effort to make sure we have enough room on the other side to get Chris out of the car, I didn't give my own ever-growing-larger self enough room.
"No I don't Fit." I had to tell him. Then I reparked the car so that I could fit enough to get my girthy self out of the car. Chris got it before I did!
But that's his way, he's such a smarty pants.
And a Smart Aleck. The other day I swore I heard him tell me to Go Fly a Kite. I was like Excuse Me! I asked, and he wanted to Go Fly a Kite. "Yes Doh figha tite" Let's go fly a kite. We did it earlier in the month for the first time, and He LOVED IT! He's been begging for repeats. Unfortunately, though the weather has been gorgeous there just wasn't Wind enough to repeat such an activitity. Last night, we were able to oblige.
Then he told us he wanted McDonald's for dinner last night. Specifically, he said Cheeseburger. He did Not get a cheeseburger for dinner last night, instead we had homemade burritos and he found great joy in Tortillas. I must say, he says the word tortilla perfectly. We must've been in middle school before we were familiar with tortillas. But he's equally comfy with mexican or american fare. Monday, he comes traipsing off the bus, near tears as we wave goodbye, and I lean down to hear what he's saying as the bus drives away. Tease-burder (Cheeseburger). You want a cheeseburger? Yes. OK. We hopped in the car. Yes, I was that parent, who hopped in the car and literally ran to McDonald's because her son merely said the word Cheeseburger. He ate half of one too! Now it doesn't hurt I'm a bit partial to them also, they've always been a comfort food for me. In addition, since the car had gotten rearended on Sunday morning, I was thinking we might go get the damaged appraised. We were able to do both. Chris was as thrilled to go "fits tar" (fix car) as to get his cheeseburger. Seems my boy takes after my comfort food cravings.
Though lately his grammar leaves a bit to be desired. I'm sure our English teacher friends will find it humorous how Christopher uses the pronoun "HeShe" to mean most everbody. For example, if Daddy is at work, "HeShe's at wert." HeShe's right here, heshe's wants, heshe's run away. The best is when he uses it for the cat. Which you know, Angel isn't exactly the manliest name for a boy cat, but Eric thought the cat was a girl at the time. Often the cat is mistaken for a femalem and can't blame him, he's big and fluffy in a girly sort of way. Since Chris mistakenly let the cat out a couple weeks ago, he is always very concerned with Angel's location. Angel has taken to curling up for naps on the Changing Table, so Chris will check the usual spots, and call him, Tat! Then he'll come back and report to me, "Tat-heshe's on Bet" (bed) or "heshe's in bafroom" (bathroom). He's even pretending to be Tat crawling under the piano, yesterday and crawling around on the floor. The two of them were flopped down on their sides facing each other and it was pretty cute. I even convinced Chris to come over to me, pretending to be a cat, meowing and merping, so I could give him some pets. It was pretty adorable.
Better pretending to be the cat than his other big interest of the week. Trimit-Kermit the Frog. Chris found the stuffed Kermit amongst the pile of stuffies in the nursery. There's a net that we've hung to the wall, and we store all the stuffies in it, but there's a lot of them and it's prone to overflow. It's a very fine system, so to prevent pileage, we don't let Chris touch it. If there's someone he wants, we get it. Well, Daddy went on the prowl this week for Larry the Cucumber "Yayee Tuyatumber" and he had him almost out before the tower fell apart showering stuffies all over the floor. Well, it was late, we didn't recreate our "fine system" but just left them and went to bed. Chris found Kermit the next day. Now Kermit has long thin felt arms and legs, and isn't exactly cuddly, but you can't tell Chris that. It was like Christmas! What's funny is how he says it, Trimit. He says Christmas the same way, Trimmis. It's another fine line. But he looks pretty sweet curled up with Kermit the Frog, or trying to get him to hop, legs all a-flailing.
Last night, he slept with Kermit. And it was a good night sleep too. The last few nights, Constipation has reared it's ugly head in our home. He was up multiple times Friday night, but Saturday he was just acting oddly. When he woke from a brief nap on Saturday, he was in a bad mood, and just wanted to cuddle with us. He would ask to Step Outside, but then he'd want right back in. He'd cry, and whine, and really all he wanted to do was watch tv. And for us to watch TV with him, he was just generally clingy. He complained his tummy hurt, and when probed for more details, he'd just say "Tube". His tube site hasn't been looking gross, but there was a creamy ooze, and some pinkness, so, by Saturday evening, we called Dr. West. She didn't think it sounded like a bad infection, the site would be worse. But she said sometimes if they are constipated the full intestine pushes on the stomach, causing some shape change, and since the Feeding Tube does NOT change it's position that shape change of the stomach sometimes puts pressure (and pain) on the feeding tube site. AHA! Constipation! I swear this boy's symptoms of constipation change all the time. He's been pooping, but not much, but then again, he hasn't been eating or drinking much either. Daddy was up with him a good half dozen times Saturday night. So, Sunday we double dosed his Miralax...but you know, Miralax will only work if you can get the patient to actively drink the solution. Our patient wasn't exactly inclined to do that. We put him on the toilet and Nothing would happen. Finally by the end of the day he finished about 1/3 capful dose, not exactly heavy. Sunday night, he was still crying out in his sleep, but it didn't seem like as many times as Saturday. Same thing on Monday, I felt bad dosing him and sending him to school, thinking he'd start letting loose there, but he didn't. After nap on Monday, he was still plugged up. He woke up after a brief hourlong nap, screaming his head off. He screamed for like 10-15 minutes straight. I hugged and rocked him, and it was reminiscent of the old days, except now he could tell me he wanted to step outside or his tummy hurt. He doesn't tell me has to poo, or that he's hanging on to it... But oh well, the screaming spasms, these were the Constipation symptoms we knew. After a while, he collapsed in my arms. He's a lot bigger than the last time he did this. And he just lay there head first on my chest, bundle of boy in my lap, cheek to my skin. But my arm started going numb, then I had to shift him a little bit, and his head was on a pillow sleeping next to me, with his legs out the side, and the bulk of his body curling. Sure it was a long time, and my butt and arms were numb, but at least I got a 45 minute giant snuggle baby napping in my lap. He fell Flat Asleep in my lap. Probably my last with him. Yesterday he started putting out more poo. Amazing how happy we can get at full diapers.
And last night...he slept.
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